Listening

A quality many people find endearing in another person is having someone hear what they have said.  Attending skills, acknowledging the very words that are spoken is a great way to sho empathy and establish rapport.

We all want to speak and be heard

When (if) we are allowed to freely express our thoughts and
ideas, expectations and goals, they will always be accompanied by an
emotion.

When our partner or friends or someone in our family is telling
us things, pay attention to the underlying, between-the-lines
meanings.  This is the hidden gold of our relationships.
When people get that you “get” them they will be friends for ever.
When you know your friends understand what you really mean you will
want to be friends with them forever.

Telling people what you want, how you feel
You job is to be as clear as you can when you are expressing
yourself.  Telling people what you are feeling is far harder
than telling what you think.

What I say	What I feel
You make me angry at you	I feel resentful
What I am not saying	What I want to say
…because I am frustrated that here you go again, another person not understanding me and that has gone on all my life ever since my dog died when I was seven and no one realised how unhappy I was. because what you did reminded me of…..	…but feel silly or vulnerable if I do say it… because when that thing happened it reminded me when my dog died and I was very unhappy.