Smart Couples feel free to be vulnerable

Openness and risking vulnerability are keys to having great relationships.

We all want to speak and be heard and for many of us, the being hear is critical to feeling we have a voice.

I must point out that however much you want to speak and however much you want what you are asking for, there is always the chance you may not get what you want.  sometimes we just have to accept that we may not get what we want.

Your expectations can sometimes be the greatest source of your misery.

Hold your right hand up in front of yourself, palms up and imagine all the things in the world that you want.

Now, at the same time open up your left hand and do the same thing but this time picture all the things you have.

Are they the same?  My guess is that there are many more things, ideas, dreams hopes, aspirations in your right hand than the things you have in the left.

The art of dealing with the space between these two points is the art of living well.  Your expectations can sometimes be the greatest source of your misery becasue that is what you make it.

Understanding this concept is indicative of your level of emotional intelligence...  the art of relationship is really the art of negotiation.

 

Listening to your partner is as important as you speaking up and being heard.  When both of you are doing these things the relationship is enhanced.

When you are willing to listen and learn you can be better with your partner immediately. Keep in mind that what and how people say things often betrays how they are feeling. Ask yourself, what is the emotional content.

Sit facing your partner and listen to what he or she says. 

Feedback to them what you heard.

Let them correct you if you get it wrong.

Let your partner know you are listening by attending to their ideas, thoughts, feeling and actions.